Maine – a great read and place to vacation.
As you probably already know, a worldwide earthquake will strike at 6 p.m. (local time) Saturday, May 21, alerting the human race that Judgment Day has begun. Or so says Family Radio president Harold Camping.
Camping is very certain that the Rapture will occur.
“There’s nothing in the Bible that holds a candle to the amount of information to this tremendous truth of the end of the world,” he told New York Magazine. “I would be absolutely in rebellion against God if I thought anything other than it is absolutely going to happen without any question.”
Not everyone is as informed about Judgment Day as Camping, of course. With that in mind, here are a few answers to frequently asked questions about the End of Days:
Q: Who gets to ascend to heaven?
A: Those who accept Christ as the messiah. Even Jews are invited, says Camping, but only if they accept Christ – which would seem to make them no longer Jewish.
Q: How many will be Raptured?
A: Campbell estimates 200 million. The remaining nearly 7 billion face a grisly fate – crushed in the quake, burned by sulfur, turned into pillars of salt, etc.
Q: Why May 21?
A: Camping calculates May 21 is exactly 7,000 years from the date of the Noah’s Ark flood. In his book “Time Has an End,” Camping writes. “The year 391 B.C. is the year when the Old Testament was finished, and 2,011 + 391 – 1 = 2,401, or 7 x 7 x 7 x 7.” There you have it.
Q: Any other reason?
A: Yes. Gay Pride and same-sex marriage. Camping says God will punish America and the rest of the world for Gay Pride and same-sex marriages, just as Sodom and Gomorrah were punished with fire and brimstone in the Old Testament.
Q: Will the Earth end on May 21?
A: No. The Earth will stick around for a few more months of “chaos and awful suffering” before being obliterated Oct. 21.
Q: Didn’t Camping predict the end of the world would take place in September 1994?
A: Yes, but the book in which he made the prediction was titled “1994?”. The question mark makes all the difference.
Q: Will the Rapture happen sooner in Australia, like New Year’s celebrations?
A: Yes. May 21st begins first on Kiritimati Island, a Pacific Ocean atoll, so presumably the earthquake would strike there first.
Q: If I’m Raptured, what will happen to my pets?
A: Probably nothing good. However, a business called Eternal Earthbound Pets run by “confirmed atheists” offers to save pets left behind and ensure their care in 26 states. It lists a fee of $135 for a single pet ($20 each for additional pets), but has raised rates due to “increased activity associated with the May 21, 2011 Rapture.” Pets are limited to dogs, cats, birds rabbits and small caged mammals in most states. Four states can accommodate horses, camels, llamas and donkeys.
Q: Are exploding watermelons in China a sign?
If you need one, this childhood favorite of mine may help:
For your lunch break:
“First of all, every player has played with gay guys. It bothers me when I hear these reporters and jocks get on TV and say, ‘Oh, no guy can come out in a team sport. These guys would go crazy.’ First of all, quit telling me what I think. I’d rather have a gay guy who can play than a straight guy who can’t play.
Any professional athlete who gets on TV or radio and says he never played with a gay guy is a stone-freakin’ idiot. I would even say the same thing in college. Every college player, every pro player in any sport has probably played with a gay person. … They always try to make it like jocks discriminate against gay people. I’ve been a big proponent of gay marriage for a long time, because as a black person, I can’t be in for any form of discrimination at all,” – Sir Charles Barkley.
Barkley is all over the place but his final point is spot on.
Sam Klemke has been recording year-end video diaries for the past 35 years. This year he decided to stitch together, in reverse chronological order, clips from all 35 reflections.
Watch Sam go “from a paunchy middle aged white bearded self deprecating schluby old fart, to a svelt, full haired, clean shaven, self-important, inspired but clueless 20 year old.” It’s quite a sight to see.
I enjoy reading/listening to Chris Heuertz’s stuff, but I don’t know what to think when he and many other Christian theologians mention not resorting to violence when faced with people such as Osama Bin Laden. I don’t know if passive love is the answer in this case. However, Chris finishes his reflective piece with a note worth reading (the whole thing is worth reading, actually):
The luxury of the non-victim is to externalize victimhood, to espouse theories without the burden of living with the impact of them. Today we wake up in a new reality, one without Osama bin Laden, a reality that we now have the potential to shape. Without turning it into an externalized abstraction, may we reject the absurdity that violence has solved anything. May we work to create a new future where love is the rule and real peace is the goal.
These two seem more and more awkward around each other. I can almost feel the animosity they have for each other. Segments of their own shows are based on mocking the other, so it can’t be a big surprise.
Anywho, these two discuss 2012 GOP hopefuls and Barack Obama: